It has been awhile since I have written a more “humorous” (well, to me at least…) post. The recent posts have been food or product reviews or general information about the store. However, although likely far less useful to others (I’m assuming that I provide at least some helpful information), I have had fun writing these other types of posts in the past ((Seinfeld: the Costco series); (10 ways to know you are obsessed with Costco: Part 1); (10 ways to know you are obsessed with Costco: Part 2 ); (What kind of “sampler” are you?); (If the Olympics were held in Costco…); (Why Costco would be a good place for a dinner party); (Most and least likely comments at Costco); (10 Ways to Get an Empty Costco Checkout Lane); (The Costco circus: Strange shopping experiences); (Living at Costco: seasonal benefits); (Would you Rather?: Costco edition); (Costco-Themed Games); (Terrible parking at Costco)).
There were three prompts for the idea for this post. First, I have seen open packages of food (e.g., chips) in the aisles, indicating that people created their own free samples. Second, I have actually seen people eating from these packages. For example, I caught someone red (blue??) handed tasting blueberries (Product Review: Blueberries). Third are two recent Costco reports from family members (we really are a Costco family!) In one, my parents saw a man in the food court eating a rotisserie chicken. Now, these chickens are very popular ((Costco Questions); (How Costco Gets Members to Spend More); (An assortment of Costco facts (Part 1 of 2)) but are not sold in the food court. Therefore, he had to first purchase the chicken from the back of the store. Although it is not a terrible idea and he was able to eat it very fresh (Costco Surprises), it still seems like a funny item to eat in a public setting. In the second, my brother saw a customer eating pizza from the food court with a salad (not sold at the food court) purchased from the produce section. Again, not a bad idea as it makes a healthier, more complete meal. However, we still find it funny.
In these scenarios, the members created their own meals for which they (hopefully!) paid. However, it made me think about some funny snacks or meals people could create if they took the free sample concept ((Samples return to Costco!); (A day in the life of a “Sample Giver”)) too far and assumed they could “create their own”.
(Note: this is a joke and not a list of suggestions. I am certainly not promoting opening packages and stealing food. In addition, I take cleanliness and allergies seriously and am not advocating handling food in the store)
10 Ways Members Could Take Free Samples “Too Far”
1. Watermelon
Watermelons are a very popular item at Costco during the prime watermelon season (Product Review: Watermelons). I have even seen people with two in their carts. However, I have never seen them offered as a free sample. There is a Seinfeld episode in which Kramer returns an unsatisfactory peach to the local grocer. When he then encourages Jerry to return fruit, Jerry refuses, saying “fruit’s a gamble. I know that going in”). Given Costco’s return policy (Returning at Costco), even a horrible watermelon would not be a big deal. However, I think the image of a member could still see taking a knife and a watermelon and creating a sample is funny. Two other bonuses are that they could test the knife and the fruit at the same time and could serve others too (perhaps a new type of ‘sampler”…those who create their own stations (What kind of “sampler” are you?)…)
2. Peanut Butter & Jelly
PBJs are great for providing nutrition and energy. In addition, among children without peanut allergies, they are a common favorite. Therefore, why not create a sample to fuel up for a big Costco shopping trip and/or make the kiddos happy? Members could find a preferred loaf of bread, and (huge, obviously) jars of PB and jelly, get a plastic knife from the food court, and make a sandwich. Actually, given the variety of breads, jellies/jams, and nut butters (e.g., (Product Review:Kirkland organic creamy peanut butter); (Product Review: Kirkland almond butter)), one could even set up shop and test options of all three items.
3. Apple Pie a la Mode
Ah, that huge apple pie…and those huge cartons of vanilla ice cream (Product Review: Kirkland Super Premium Vanilla Ice Cream). Is it worth buying them and have tempting desserts in the house? Will they be good enough to bring for dessert to a dinner party? Maybe they need to be sampled beforehand! Open that pie and the ice cream and try the combination.
4. Salad
I would assume Seinfeld would also view vegetables as a “gamble”. However, if one wants a variety of vegetables in a salad, there is “risk” with any one of the vegetables. Therefore, maybe one should create a “sample salad”, including carrots (Product Review: Cal-organic Baby Carrots), tomatoes (Product review: grape tomatoes), lettuce, and mushrooms. Of course, there are also multiple dressings one might want to sample.
5. Yogurt Parfait
Yogurt with granola is delicious. However, how should one decide what yogurt and what granola to purchase? Costco has many options of yogurt from which to choose (“Strong” and “weak” sections of Costco) as well as multiple varieties of granola (e.g., Product Review: Kirkland Ancient Grains granola). Therefore, a “yogurt parfait bar” may be a good choice for selecting purchases.
6. Frappe
The food court sells soft serve ice cream but not chocolate syrup (actually, it is a little surprising that they sell berry parfaits but not sundaes). Soft serve is very conducive to making frappes, so why not open a carton of milk and a big bottle of syrup and make your own? A blender is not needed (although you could find one in the food appliance aisle if you wanted to sample that too!), so a spoon from the food court is likely sufficient. Then, get an empty cup and a straw and…voila. (I realize that “frappe” is not a familiar term outside of Boston. “Frappes” in Boston are what are called “milkshakes” elsewhere. Therefore, in Boston, “frappe” means ice cream with syrup, whereas “milkshake” is milk and syrup. They tend to be interchangeable at a lot of places, even in Boston, but if not…a milkshake in place of a frappe would be a big disappointment.
7. Bagel with Lox and Cream Cheese
Costco sells multiple varieties of smoked salmon (e.g, Product Review:Kirkland Signature Smoked Salmon); (Product Review: ACME Smoked Salmon)), so one may want to try a few before buying. However, wouldn’t the best way to assess the lox to be to sample it as it would likely be eaten? Therefore, might as well open one of the huge tubs of cream cheese (which, for some reason, I still find to be one of the most amusing items sold at Costco) and a package of bagels.
8. Cheese and Crackers
I have seen both cheese and crackers as samples, both individually and together (although I think that it is often the cheese being sampled and the cracker is just the method for eating it). However, Costco sells many types of crackers and a wide variety of cheeses (“Strong” and “weak” sections of Costco). Therefore, it would take a lot of visits to sample them all, even if Costco did offer each as a sample on rotation. Might as well just create one’s own cheese and crackers sampler platter. (Hey, if one really wants to have a fun sampling experience, add some wine ((Alcohol at Costco (Part 1 of 2); Alcohol at Costco (Part 2 of 2)).
9. Trail mix
Snacks are very good to have around. One good option is trail mix, made with nuts, dried fruit, and maybe some chocolate chips. Given the wide selection at Costco, how would one make the ideal snack without first mixing and matching? Does one want mixed nuts (Product Review: Kirkland Signature Extra Fancy Unsalted Mixed Nuts) with craisins? Peanuts (Product Review: Kirkland Signature Super Extra-Large Peanuts) and raisins? Cashews (Even More High-Quality Kirkland Products) and chocolate chips?Rather than buying such large contact, why not try a few different mixes while in the store?
10. Cookies and milk
Chocolate chip cookies are a popular bakery item. I actually don’t recall if I have seen them being offered as a sample but I imagine that many people would purchase them after trying them. However, is a chocolate chip cookie really the same if offered without cold milk? It would definitely add to the tasting experience to open up a carton of milk to drink along with the cookie.
What do you think about these ideas for “free samples gone too far”? What would you do if you saw people making their own samples? Ignore them? Say something? Report them? Join in and try the “sample”?
Cruising Costco 